Mr. Rogers

"As human beings, our job in life is to help people realize how rare and valuable each one of us really is, that each of us has something that no one else has-or ever will have-something inside that is unique to all time. It's our job to encourage each other to discover that uniqueness and to provide ways of developing its expression. " - Fred Rogers


Ok, I admit it, a blog that starts out with a quote from Mr. Rogers, could be construed as being trite, goody goody, or just plain weird. I found this quote today on my morning surf and for me as a parent it resonated and as a parent, I have logged a lot of hours in the neighborhood. But then I wondered, is there a way to do this, in some small way, for everyone we meet, and if there is, how do we manage it?

"I feel the greatest gift we can give to anybody is the gift of our honest self." --Fred Rogers

Does anyone you know actually do this? I know I am always hiding who I am from all but a very few. I know I am hurt when my trust in these people has been betrayed in the past. I wonder if I should be? Maybe I can just be who I am, and learn to not be as concerned with the opinions of others. As I have aged, I admit to finding this a whole lot easier, however it comes from a different place. In my case it is apathy, rather than a secure sense of myself.


Lewis Black, the comedian, says we are like snowflakes. Which also sounds extra silly, or waxes poetic, you can choose which one according to your purpose. I daily marvel at the diversity of those I meet, and some days the only thing that helps me deal with those I find difficult to deal with is to try to look for at least one unique and positive aspect that they posess and concentrate on it to the exclusion of the other things.


Is truly loving someone unconditionally overlooking the small and petty for the reward of the larger and more meaningful? It's easy to do with your own children, harder to manage with the adults in your life. Loving someone is reasonably easy. Accepting the love from others, not so much. To allow someone to give to you, and open yourself for dependence on them is terrifying and at the same time wonderful. The risks involved in emotional intimacy are far outweighed by the promise of joy and happiness it can bring. Too many times we seek to avoid the risk of pain or rejection, and in doing so, miss the benefits. I don't think I would notice how great happy is, if I had not known sadness.


I see a lot of people on a quest for an imagined perfection, and throwing away wonderful things to get to it because they don't see the innate value. I see them ignoring the noble, for the material. I see them planning and thinking as clearly as if their scalp and skull were made of invisible stuff. Looking for ways to improve their lot, often at the expense of the feelings of others. Abusing others to make the pain or insecurity in themselves magically disappear. this strategy works temporarily, but those demons come back again and again, poking you like sharp pins from the inside out.


I believe that not only are people so stunningly different, as well as amazingly the same, but that if you really knew what people have experienced and felt, that no matter who they are, you could love each of them in some small way.

"What is essential is invisible to the eye."-- Antoine de St. Exupery