On Integrity

in·teg·ri·ty

1. Steadfast adherence to a strict moral or ethical code.
2. The state of being unimpaired; soundness.
3. The quality or condition of being whole or undivided; completeness.

I have been doing a lot of thinking about this as of late. I did what I do when I am pondering, I looked it up. After an incident this week, I thought it might be philosophically a rather important concept.

The word itself is a bit puzzling. It can be used in such a variety of ways, there is more than one kind of integrity. Personal, moral, professional, artistic and even intellectual integrity. The one I am thinking about now, specifically relates more to the character of a person. Of the dictionary definitions, I like number three the very best, although at times it can be harder to quantify.

Sure integrity as it relates to your moral code is an easy one to judge from most viewpoints. If you steal and you say stealing is wrong, then you are surely off the mark. I cannot tell my children not to steal if I do it, then I am not just a person of dubious integrity, I also earn the label of hypocrite.

It's hard to always walk your talk, not everything we are called upon to do in each day, is an easy moral choice. Where does the rubber hit the road at that time? If we don't want to lie, are we showing kindness when our friend asks us if those pants make her ass look fat? Should we be kind, or should we be truthful? Which shows our true character and intentions?

I think integrity is an amalgamation of the whole package. Sure, moral standards are important, but showing courtesy and consideration to others is equally as important. Can these two be balanced effectively? I think perhaps that is the bigger task at hand to package these two and still live within ourselves and feel good about what we are doing, knowing we have done the best we can and trying to fix it if we did not. It is a conscious integration of the whole.

In my life I have done things I am not particularly proud of but they have always taught me something worthwhile about myself. I can count these things on one hand. The things I did specifically hurt people, and have caused me shame and regret. I have tried to examine the lessons they have presented, and they have always led to a change in my way of doing things. In most cases I have tried hard to make amends if it was at all possible to do so. Sometimes those that who hurt are not interested in your feelings of repentance.

I have lied in the past to people. People I loved. When I was a kid, I lied to my parents all the time. I have lied to boys when I was a teenager. I did not consider it to be a heinous thing. But when I matured and had someone important to me, lie to me, I found that it was not a very admirable thing. So I stopped. I made a conscious effort not to lie intentionally to anyone again. I find I do not like to lie very much, but I like hurting the feelings of those I care about, even less. I will evade the ass fat question if at all possible. It's a trap!

I am finding at my now advanced age, that not all people live by the same code that I do. They lie without thought, to avoid consequences and confrontations. They are obsessed with taking the easy way out of every situation. I admit that I am stubborn, but I always take the hard way. I can't see any purpose in letting things build up.

Does that make me a person of integrity? Gosh, I hope so, or I will have expended enormous effort for naught.

Basically, I am spending a lot of time, pondering a idea that is quickly becoming out of fashion. It seems to be a pattern with me.