On French...

This blog is lovingly dedicated to those at Zone Backgammon,
rated room 1, who perhaps do not have the luxury of speaking French,
and feel they need some viable English alternatives.

At any time, you may use these as substitutes for time honoured,
arrogant, garlic scented frenchy expressions we hear all too often.

I offer these as a service, to aid in the defrenchification of their daily
lives. I do this because I am a people person.

agent provocateur: troublemaker
à la mode: Ice cream on it
au naturel: naked
avant-garde: just plain weird stuff
avoirdupois: fat
au pair: the chance for free sex with young foreign women
bon vivant: party animal
c'est la vie: shit happens
concierge: actor
cul-de-sac: you are going to have to turn around
déjà  vu: Been there, done that
double entendre: very likely some sort of sexual harassment
eau de toilette: The toilet is overflowing!
faux: cheap, i.e. I don't have money faux a real diamond,
       so I got you this fetching cubic zirconia
faux pas: Step-father
film noir: Pooty Tang
haute cuisine: Looks good, but what the hell is it?
hors d'oeuvre: appetizers you are not paying for, if you are paying for them,
                       they are still appetizers
laissez faire: Butt out
maitre 'D: actor
matinée: afternoon delight
nouveau riche: anyone with more money than you have
petit-four: Not enough chocolate for anyone
RSVP has always meant Répondez s'il vous plaît, now it will mean
"Responding seems very polite..."
savoir-faire: uses pompous french expressions fluently
trompe l'oeil: Plastic surgery