Children
In college, I was completely positive, that I did not want any children.
Don't get me wrong, I liked children, but I was under some sort of bullshit brainwashing notion that being a housewife and mother, was a waste of time. I was rumored that it would suck up all my time, and bring on the end of my intellectual life.
Looking back retrospectively, I could have not been anymore wrong.
These little people that came out of me, are simply amazing individuals. All four of them could not be any more different in personality if they tried to, they are all stand alone.
No longer can I look at parenting as some sort of chore, it is a privilege. Knowing them, guiding them, seeing them succeed and fail has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done. A week before my second son is to go into college, I am awestruck by him. How in the last two years, he has turned into a man right in front of me. I could not be any prouder of anything I have ever done, that the tiny contribution I had to these children.
My daughter, beginning step by step to independence, she can make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, get her own ice water from the fridge door. These things do not sound like much to someone else, but when 6 months ago, she would not even venture down to the kitchen alone, it is a small miracle.
Parenting is not easy, and yes, sometimes, it is monumentally frustrating. Nowhere else have I found so much reward for any little thing I have done. And they are forgiving, make a mistake, and they forget about it. Apologize, and it is magically as if it never occurred. I never knew what love actually was, until I saw my first child looking up at me. I could not have ever conceived of it in my wildest dreams, what it was like to love someone so much, they could shit on you, literally, and not have it affect how you feel about them. It has improved every friendship I have ever had. I was supposed to mold them and they have molded me into something much softer, kinder and more patient.
I am grateful for the opportunity to have known these little people. They are smart, sassy, empathetic and loyal. I have always tried to do the best I could by them, and all I can ask is that they pass that on to my grandchildren. I have not been Mrs. Cleaver, but then again, I am not "Mommy Dearest."
With this has come much more understanding for my own parents, and their foibles. I now see how the chain of parenting works, and I have tried hard to change the things in my power to strengthen it. It has also taught me about my own weaknesses. It has shown me that there are moments of happiness in the tiniest things, even in the midst of pain or discontent. Having to appear to be calm for them, when there was nothing but grief, and finding to my amazement that there was a lot more to me than I had thought. It has educated me in grace and mercy. In other words, while they were supposed to be growing up, perhaps I am the one who actually has.
Don't get me wrong, I liked children, but I was under some sort of bullshit brainwashing notion that being a housewife and mother, was a waste of time. I was rumored that it would suck up all my time, and bring on the end of my intellectual life.
Looking back retrospectively, I could have not been anymore wrong.
These little people that came out of me, are simply amazing individuals. All four of them could not be any more different in personality if they tried to, they are all stand alone.
No longer can I look at parenting as some sort of chore, it is a privilege. Knowing them, guiding them, seeing them succeed and fail has been the most rewarding thing I have ever done. A week before my second son is to go into college, I am awestruck by him. How in the last two years, he has turned into a man right in front of me. I could not be any prouder of anything I have ever done, that the tiny contribution I had to these children.
My daughter, beginning step by step to independence, she can make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich, get her own ice water from the fridge door. These things do not sound like much to someone else, but when 6 months ago, she would not even venture down to the kitchen alone, it is a small miracle.
Parenting is not easy, and yes, sometimes, it is monumentally frustrating. Nowhere else have I found so much reward for any little thing I have done. And they are forgiving, make a mistake, and they forget about it. Apologize, and it is magically as if it never occurred. I never knew what love actually was, until I saw my first child looking up at me. I could not have ever conceived of it in my wildest dreams, what it was like to love someone so much, they could shit on you, literally, and not have it affect how you feel about them. It has improved every friendship I have ever had. I was supposed to mold them and they have molded me into something much softer, kinder and more patient.
I am grateful for the opportunity to have known these little people. They are smart, sassy, empathetic and loyal. I have always tried to do the best I could by them, and all I can ask is that they pass that on to my grandchildren. I have not been Mrs. Cleaver, but then again, I am not "Mommy Dearest."
With this has come much more understanding for my own parents, and their foibles. I now see how the chain of parenting works, and I have tried hard to change the things in my power to strengthen it. It has also taught me about my own weaknesses. It has shown me that there are moments of happiness in the tiniest things, even in the midst of pain or discontent. Having to appear to be calm for them, when there was nothing but grief, and finding to my amazement that there was a lot more to me than I had thought. It has educated me in grace and mercy. In other words, while they were supposed to be growing up, perhaps I am the one who actually has.
posted by Dawn at 4:30 PM
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